THE BIG FALL

I was in the bedroom Wednesday night watching one of the English comedies.  There was a big KERRR PLUNKKK in the living room and I knew immediately James had fallen.  I was in there in seconds to find him on the floor on his stomach with his head on the tile of the entry way in a puddle of blood.  He didn’t know what had caused him to fall.  We got him turned over and cleaned up.  There was a gash on his forehead and his nose was no longer straight; it now went off at a slant.  There were some abrasions and it looked like a little piece of his nose was gone.  We almost never got him up and in bed.  He could hardly walk and I knew I could never get him down the porch steps to the car.  It was call an ambulance or put him to bed

You may not want to read the next paragraph.

When I was cleaning up all the blood on the tile there was a little piece of flesh that I knew was his nose.  I picked it up and put it on a paper towel on the counter in the bathroom.  Thought I would put it in a little plastic bottle that craft people put beads in.  You know, like they do in TV programs like Bones.  No, I didn’t plan to keep it forever but thought I would show it to Missy and maybe Kelley.  Most of the rest of the family is too squeamish for that.  The next morning it was gone.  Did the cat eat it?  Later, while I was on my hands and knees cleaning up some more blood droplets in the bathroom, I found it again.  So it is back on a paper towel in the guest bathroom with the door closed.  This was probably more than you wanted to know. 

Next morning (about 5:00 a.m.) we went to the emergency room.  His nose was bleeding again but it was straight now, no longer at a slant.  They cleaned him up, took eight stitches in the gash over his eyebrow, did x-rays etc, nothing broken.  His nose did not want to quit bleeding and they gave us directions on how to position him to help it clot, gave us a prescription for antibiotics and we came back home. 

His nose bleeds off and on and he now has two black eyes and green bruises, plus abrasions and the stitched up gash.  I am sure we will skip church tomorrow.  He looks so awful some people would be repulsed. 

Let me give you one bit of advice.  If you ever decide to kill someone; do it in a way that does not cause blood shed.  Blood is really, really hard to clean up and you would be caught for sure.

CLEAVAGE

As I have mentioned before, my darling still notices the ladies and appreciates their attributes.

A while back in McClains he pointed out to me a girl in a pink sweater with impressive cleavage. I agreed that she had impressive cleavage. Then he suggested that I dress like that and show my cleavage. I said no, I didn’t think I would do that. But he insisted. When I kept saying no he asked me why. So I told him. There are two reasons. 1) My cleavage is a lot lower than it used to be. 2) It looks like it is covered with crepe paper. He laughed until I thought he would fall off the chair. You would think I was funnier than Tim Conway. And what about crepe paper? When girls are young we make costumes out of crepe paper, and doll clothes and in teen years we decorated the gym with crepe paper for dances. I bet he has never had crepe paper in his hands. So was it the other part? The lower cleavage? Whatever it was I appreciate the fact that he is still easy to get along with and enjoys life. Hope this part lasts a long long time.

NEW ADVENTURES IN TIPPING

James, our friend Dorothy and I went to McClains for lunch. James wanted to pay and Dorothy wanted to pay. They back and forthed for a while and then Dorothy said she would leave the tip and she laid down her money. James put down tip money too. I told him Dorothy was leaving the tip. He said he knew that. They went up to the front and I stood looking at the table wondering what to do. I finally thought “great balls of fire, Maridelle, you don’t have to fix everything”. So I turned and left too.

I bet Tabatha, our waitress, was surprised to get a 9.00 tip for lunch in a country cafe.