Passages in Caregiving by Gail Sheehy – a wonderful book. Laurie, our daughter-in-law gave me my copy and it has made a difference in my life. Sheehy took care of her husband for many years. He had cancer. She tells us how to continue to have a life even while we are giving care. She tells us how to work toward continuing to have a life and being a real person after our loved one is gone. Surely, like me, you have worried that when this is all over you will only be an empty shell, nothing left inside, friends all gone on to another life while you were unavailable and you will have forgotten how to live life. I have lain awake at night and gone through all this. Haven’t you? Well I now have hope, not only for when it is all over but also for now – today.
She advises us to spend one hour a day doing something we love. I have brought my paints, etc. up from the basement and I paint every afternoon. I have lost a lot of ability in the 4 or 5 years but I believe I can regain it and even if I don’t, I’m having fun. Yes, it makes my living room look messy but I don’t care, as I said, I’m having fun.
Take a weekend once a month. This weekend I am going on a 2-day crop. Our son, Drew, and Laurie are staying here with James. I will meet our daughter and one of our granddaughters there plus the crop leader that I haven’t seen in years. Can’t wait for Friday.
She tells us to take a week every six months. Drew says he has plenty of time off from work and can stay with James for a week. I am talking with my cousins about taking a trip together.
I have an old friend who cleans houses coming once a week for four hours. James has known her for a long time and is comfortable with her. She was here last Friday and I went to the quilt shop and sewed on a quilt I have had going for a year. I sewed and talked and bought fabric and sewed and talked some more. It is a great quilt shop and owned by a wonderful woman.
She suggests lots more. If you are a caregiver, I recommend this book. If it does half as much for you as it has done for me you will be very blessed.
Take care.
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