Wednesday, December 11, 2013

DECEPTION


I've never lied so much in my life – lie, deceive, sneak around, hide things.

I just hung up shirts in the guest room closet and there were a box of cereal, Honey Bunches of Oats, and half a package of Oreo cookies.

I bought cookies the other day – biscotti. Eight to a box. I made us some coffee, brought us each a cup of coffee and a biscotti. The next time I looked, there were only two biscotti left; he had eaten the other four in a matter of 30 minutes. I snatched the last two up and hid them in the back of the cup towel drawer. When I told this to Missy, she laughed and said that the week she was with him, she found herself stashing food everywhere – thus, food in the guest room.

He has driven me crazy ever since we went back off daylight saving time. He can't figure out how to reset his digital watch. He has worn this same kind of watch for years and years but now he can't reset it. Several times a day he would tell me the other clocks in the house were an hour off. I would explain daylight savings time and that the clocks were right and his watch was wrong. A few minutes later, we would go through the whole loop again. We were doing this several times a day and I was going gaga. So naturally, I snitched his watch and put it under some stuff in the junk drawer, and said I did not know where it was.

Yesterday I gave Missy some money and asked her to get him a watch and say it came from her (thought he would accept it as a gift from her; if I gave it to him, he might think it was the wrong kind and give me grief about it). About six or 8 times last night, he would ask where the watch came from. Why did she buy it for him? We should reimburse her for the watch. I said I would. On and on. Whats is that quote about “when first we practice to deceive”.

I'm getting hungry now – better go to the guest room for some cereal.