DON'T STIFF THE WAITRESSES

 Darling is in the hospital.  ICU.  Pneumonia. He has been a sick man - a little better today.

 In Dallas the other day, lunch with Missy and shopping for fabric.  Pizza at a wonderful, small, homey Italian place, Eddie’s Napoli in Garland.  Paid our bill and got change.  We put together five one-dollar bills for a tip and left them on the table.  As we are leaving we look back and James is following us out and fanning out some ones.  Missy says “Is that the tip?Did Dad pick up the tip?”  Sure enough he did.  She and James took the ones back and left them on the table.  I just leaned against the door facing.  Have we done that before?  Have we been stiffing waitresses all over town?  Who knows? 

MY PLANS DON'T ALWAYS WORK

Well my darling is sick.  Fever.  Chest hurts.  Feels awful, well naturally he feels awful with fever.  Saw doctor yesterday.  We call doctor this morning for tests report. 

 Will go ahead and post what I had ready.

I looked things up on the internet and read books – mainly The Thirty-six Hour Day.  Stephen King could not write a book as terrifying as this.  So I consoled myself.  If he is going to turn into someone I don’t know, someone I didn’t marry then that is good – that way I won’t love him and when he dies, it won’t hurt so bad.  But of course, the way things turn out, I seem to be loving him more each day.  So I am going to miss him even more – right?  Also, though he can’t remember twit, he seems to realize what good care I am taking of him and he appreciates it.  Very odd.

COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS; THEY MAY BE HARD TO COME BY.

Some of us were talking about cooking for husbands.  James used to be hard to cook for.  “I think I’d like porkchops tonight, maybe with blackeye peas and a green salad with some of that homemade  blue cheese dressing.”  He thought he could order like from restaurant; it took me forever to make him understand we would have dinner from what was in the kitchen.  He  NEVER wanted leftovers.  Well he eats leftovers all the time now; he doesn’t know he just ate them yesterday.  Count your blessings – wherever they come from.

In the beginning God created a mess in me.

Sometimes I’m very sad.  Most times okay.  Sometimes fearful for what is to come.

When we first found out James has dementia, I was a wreck.  I had to stop playing mahjong because I was staying in the rest room all the time crying.  I would go in one of the stalls and wrap my arms around myself, lean my head against the wall and sob – The strange thing is that never a tear came out.  My face was dry.  And yet I was crying.  I know I was.