Nov. 22, 2012

Thanksgiving

Kennedy shot

Things seem to be unraveling around here. Woman who stays with James when I go paint now has a full time job. How will I find someone he likes and is trust worthy? The woman who comes Monday afternoons so I can go play cards can never get here in time for me to get a place at one of the tables. And now I get a letter from the bank saying one of my accounts is overdrawn over 1,000.00. I didn't even know I had “overdraft privileges”. Did my 3,000.00 deposit not get posted? Or did the people I thought stole my identity do their first scam? I will know as soon as the bank opens. Will that be Friday or next Monday?

My house is a mess. My kitchen looks like there has been an explosion.

James is slowly going down hill. Thank goodness he still knows me, is easy to get along with and can still go places.

The good news – our oldest granddaughter is pregnant.

This post is so negative, I'm not sure I will even print it.

I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO WALMART'S

My printer ran out of two colors of ink, yellow and black. I started a list that said, ink yellow with the symbol for yellow, I think it was a circle, next item was, ink black with the symbol for black; it think it was a tringle. I put it in the front seat of the car for the next time we went to Walmart's. But I hate to go to Walmart's so it stayed in the front seat for several weeks.

EVERY TIME WE GOT IN THE CAR James would pick it up and ask what it was? Well what were the symbols? Have we bought it yet? Can I throw it away? Where do you want me to put it? Can I throw it away? He wadded it up a couple of times. Once I found it back in the kitchen on the counter. Took it back to the car. We must have gone through this list of questions and answers 50 times. I would have been way ahead if I had just made a special trip to Walmart's on the first day. Why didn't I? (Oh no; don't start the questions again.) Well I went to Walmart's yesterday and bought the ink cartridges. I tore that piece of paper into little bitty giblets.

Now I realize that is not one of the large problems in the world of Alzheimers. It is one of the small problems that we can laugh at. We are so afraid of the big problems that may be to come that we need to laugh at these little things. We are so afraid the day may come when we won't laugh again.

OLD PICTURE

OLD PICTURE

Ran across this old picture yesterday. Doesn't he look healthy and vigorous. He used to love cold weather; so I am sure he was enjoying life. Wish I had put a date on this photo. We've had good years together.

Today we had lunch in Tyler. He thought they were being a little slow in serving us.

Have they taken our order yet?

Yes, they have.

They sure are slow.

I just agreed; it is easier.

Do we eat here often?

No, never eaten here before.

Are they always this slow?

What to say? So I just said yes.

Well I think we ought to quit eating here if they are always this slow.

You are right. We will find a faster place.

We always have something to talk about. Sometimes it is the same conversation over and over.

Sometimes when he asks if we have ordered yet, I tell him yes and that we have eaten – would he like some dessert? But somehow he knows I am kidding.

IT IS THE LITTLE THINGS THAT UNDO US

Bobby, had a great time at your birthday party. The trip home was a little stressful.

There was a wreck between a small car and an 18-wheeler right in front of us on a bridge. The man behind us stopped so I did not- James would have insisted on getting out to help -- he does not remember that he has difficulty in walking much less that he is sick. 

Got home and the air conditioner was not working - 92 degrees in the house. Went to Lucky's and got batteries for the thermostat. Also got beer for James and ice cream for me. Put new batteries in and low and behold it started working again.  As my friend said "I get really tired of doing all this "man stuff" that I don't know anything about".

Finished all that and went into living room ready to relax and wait for the house to cool down. JAMES WAS EATING MY ICE CREAM!!!!! I almost cried.

Bobby, had a great time at your birthday party. The trip home was a little stressful.

There was a wreck between a small car and an 18-wheeler right in front of us on a bridge. The man behind us stopped so I did not- James would have insisted on getting out to help -- he does not remember that he has difficulty in walking much less that he is sick. Got home and the air conditioner was not working - 92 degrees in the house. Went to Lucky's and got batteries for the thermostat. Also got beer for James and ice cream for me. Put new batteries in and low and behold it started working again. Finished all that and went into living room ready to relax and wait for the coolness. JAMES WAS EATING MY ICE CREAM!!!!! I almost cried.

Bobby, had a great time at your birthday party. The trip home was a little stressful.

There was a wreck between a small car and an 18-wheeler right in front of us on a bridge. The man behind us stopped so I did not- James would have insisted on getting out to help -- he does not remember that he has difficulty in walking much less that he is sick. Got home and the air conditioner was not working - 92 degrees in the house. Went to Lucky's and got batteries for the thermostat. Also got beer for James and ice cream for me. Put new batteries in and low and behold it started working again. Finished all that and went into living room ready to relax and wait for the coolness. JAMES WAS EATING MY ICE CREAM!!!!! I almost cried.

I CAN TELL WE ARE OUT OF MILK

I came in from working in the yard the other morning and went to the frig for cold water. On the counter next to the frig were 4 bowls of cereal with sugar on top of them. I thought, “oops, we must be out of milk”. Sure enough there was a gallon milk jug with not a drop of milk in it.

I have been working outside in the garden and flower beds in the mornings. I hose myself down before I start and it is pretty cool for about an hour. That is when James decided to have cereal.

GOOD TIMES, BAD TIMES

I guess we have settled into living with dementia. Some times are good and some times are not so good.

The other day some ladies were here playing bridge. It was my time to bid and James came wondering in from the bedroom and stood behind me. He said “You're not going to let her bid are you? Especially with that hand”. And we all laughed; that is exactly the kind of thing he would have said before he got sick.

A few days ago my friend, Karen was saying how upset she had been but she went home and talked it over with her husband and then felt better about the whole thing. That was a little unexpected knife thrust into my heart. I will never again be able to talk things over with James and feel better about them. Not Karen's fault – just a fact of life with dementia.

I still thank the Lord he is easy to get along with. He has gone down physically a little more. Doesn't walk as well.

We are having a wedding in the family this Friday night – our daughter's daughter. There are all kinds of contingent plans made for James. If he gets restless at the reception or whenever, our son will take him home and stay with him and I can stay for the festivities. And I expect that to happen. His patience are thin and he gets bored easily when he is not at home in his own little nest. He won't remember the wedding by the time he gets home and we could easily get someone to stay with him but then we would not have him in any of the wedding pictures.

There is a picture of my grandfather who died before I was born. Every time my mother would see that picture she would remark, “That was taken after he got sick”. I think James in these wedding pictures might be like that.

GOOD NEWS

More neurological testing but this time we got some reports back.

He has a mixture of Alzheimer's and vascular problems having to do with his heart.

Biggest problem is memory.

He doesn't recognize that things have changed and is overwhelmed by all that is out there. Can't make decisions because too many choices. The reason he sometimes wants us to decide where to go and what to order for him.

Language ability is still good.

Thinks much slower than other people. It is like he is running to keep up.

Lives in the moment. No tomorrow and not much yesterday.

I asked if we could expect him to remain easy to get along with or if we should expect aggressiveness and possibly the violence we hear so much about. She said she had seen many patients remain easy going for the entire illness and since he had not had personality changes by now there is a good chance he will remain as he is. Thank Heaven.

His attitude has been the biggest blessing we have had and it is such good news to think we might continue to have it.

We have had many blessings during this and I can't help but believe it has to do with all the prayers I know are said for us; I thank the Lord as well as all the family and friends.