SOMETIMES IT IS FUNNY

You may have noticed I can't seem to blog anymore. So this time I am not talking about James – will just talk about dementia in general.

Met a woman the other day whose friend's mother has Alzheimers. The mother has always been a quilter and quilting was now her obsession. She pieced quilts all day long every day. Never quilted them just pieced them. She had lost her ability for design and sometimes put the pieces in wrong side out. Her daughter was going crazy and broke with buying more fabric all the time and the pieced quilt tops were everywhere. Someone told the daughter about thread that disolves in water. So she bought some of this thread for her mother. Now daughter put the newly pieced quilt tops in the washer ever night and the next day presents her mother with new, already cut up quilt pieces and everyone is satisfied. Mother doesn't recognize the fabric or realize she has already done a quilt top out of this and the daughter is relieved to not have to go to buy fabric every evening on the way home from work.

Yes, this is funny – go ahead and laugh. If you live with dementia you realize that laughter if the only thing that keeps us sane - or semi-sane.

And yes, the daughter has saved some of the tops to have as keepsakes.

SO SAD

I am a widow, at least that is what it feels like. I am so sad and so lonely.

I have just been lurking on Facebook and I am envious. I saw all the comments and pictures of what wives and girlfriends got for Valentine's. I got the same thing for Valentine's that I got for my birthday – nothing. Did you notice? All the above sentences start with the word “I”.

Then there was a picture of the ladies in jazzerise at my church. I would be in that picture if I could get away a couple more times a week. I would also be in book club.

Yes, I realize James and I are really lucky, Alzheimerwise. He can still go places with me. He is easy to get along with – most of the time. He was mad at me 4 times this week; for no reason. I asked him one time why he was mad at me – he said he did not know. Some how it did not devastate me the way it would have a few years ago; I am becoming blunt. I think his anger is due to some medicine they are changing out.

I get out one and a half days a week. I play dominoes for half a day on most Mondays. On most Thursdays I spend the day painting with some old friends. It costs from 50.00 to 90.00 each time, but it has been worth every penny of it. The ladies who stay with him are really wonderful people.

We are really lucky. I wonder about my friend Judy and her husband. She still has to work and leave her Jim by himself. How much longer can she do that? Yes, I am very lucky and should not be moaning and groaning about my situation.

And our children are so good to us. I could not get through this life without them. How long can they hold out?

So that is all. Don't know if I will post this or not.

LONG TIME FRIENDS

Last week was so good. Long time friends from Houston came to visit, also their son and his girl friend and long time friends from across the lake. The eight of us used to run around together quiet a bit. Some of us square danced together, traveled together, camped together and there is no telling how many hundreds of pounds of food we all ate together. Dear God, thank you for good friends.

Tomorrow one of our granddaughters is coming to spend the day with James while I go running around. This was part of her Christmas gift to me. She gave me a card saying what date she would be there to stay with him. When that day came the roads were icy and I told her not to come. So this is still Christmas I am celebrating. Yea, yea, yea!!!

Families and friends are so wonderful. Please excuse all the complaining I have done.

MORE DOWNHILL

More downhill – both for James and for me. As usual, he asks the same question over and over. He sleeps about 18 hours a day. Gets up and drinks a pot of coffee while he reads the paper, (he will sometimes read bits to me and read the same thing again three or four times), eats a bowl of cereal, lays down on sofa and sleeps until 11:00 I wake him up for lunch. He eats and goes back to the sofa and sleeps until 4 or 5 o'clock. He starts wanting to go to bed about 7:30 or 8:00.

He asked me recently what my name was. I told him. He asked how it was spelled. I told him. He said that was how he thought that is how it would be spelled. I had the feeling he knew I was his wife – just couldn't remember my name.

He can still tell time but at least once a day he asks if it is morning or evening.

It is really hard to get him to shave and bathe. Often I just take the path of least resistance and let him go as he is.

AND ME. I have been having physical problems from the neck up. Mold and strange stuff in my sinuses and nasal passages. Serious dental problems and tear ducts stopped up. They told me in a caregivers meeting that several studies had been done that found that 90% of illnesses are caused by stress. I googled it. It seems that stress breaks down immune systems that let you get sick. I must be the only person left in the world who had not heard that.

The good news is really good news. He is still easy to get along with – at least most of the time. When we go somewhere, I can count on him being polite. According to things I hear and read, that is a real blessing.

Nov. 22, 2012

Thanksgiving

Kennedy shot

Things seem to be unraveling around here. Woman who stays with James when I go paint now has a full time job. How will I find someone he likes and is trust worthy? The woman who comes Monday afternoons so I can go play cards can never get here in time for me to get a place at one of the tables. And now I get a letter from the bank saying one of my accounts is overdrawn over 1,000.00. I didn't even know I had “overdraft privileges”. Did my 3,000.00 deposit not get posted? Or did the people I thought stole my identity do their first scam? I will know as soon as the bank opens. Will that be Friday or next Monday?

My house is a mess. My kitchen looks like there has been an explosion.

James is slowly going down hill. Thank goodness he still knows me, is easy to get along with and can still go places.

The good news – our oldest granddaughter is pregnant.

This post is so negative, I'm not sure I will even print it.

I SHOULD HAVE GONE TO WALMART'S

My printer ran out of two colors of ink, yellow and black. I started a list that said, ink yellow with the symbol for yellow, I think it was a circle, next item was, ink black with the symbol for black; it think it was a tringle. I put it in the front seat of the car for the next time we went to Walmart's. But I hate to go to Walmart's so it stayed in the front seat for several weeks.

EVERY TIME WE GOT IN THE CAR James would pick it up and ask what it was? Well what were the symbols? Have we bought it yet? Can I throw it away? Where do you want me to put it? Can I throw it away? He wadded it up a couple of times. Once I found it back in the kitchen on the counter. Took it back to the car. We must have gone through this list of questions and answers 50 times. I would have been way ahead if I had just made a special trip to Walmart's on the first day. Why didn't I? (Oh no; don't start the questions again.) Well I went to Walmart's yesterday and bought the ink cartridges. I tore that piece of paper into little bitty giblets.

Now I realize that is not one of the large problems in the world of Alzheimers. It is one of the small problems that we can laugh at. We are so afraid of the big problems that may be to come that we need to laugh at these little things. We are so afraid the day may come when we won't laugh again.

OLD PICTURE

OLD PICTURE

Ran across this old picture yesterday. Doesn't he look healthy and vigorous. He used to love cold weather; so I am sure he was enjoying life. Wish I had put a date on this photo. We've had good years together.

Today we had lunch in Tyler. He thought they were being a little slow in serving us.

Have they taken our order yet?

Yes, they have.

They sure are slow.

I just agreed; it is easier.

Do we eat here often?

No, never eaten here before.

Are they always this slow?

What to say? So I just said yes.

Well I think we ought to quit eating here if they are always this slow.

You are right. We will find a faster place.

We always have something to talk about. Sometimes it is the same conversation over and over.

Sometimes when he asks if we have ordered yet, I tell him yes and that we have eaten – would he like some dessert? But somehow he knows I am kidding.